


Thorns and Coughing

by RedXD



Category: Hermitcraft RPF
Genre: Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Bdubs has Hanahaki Disease, Bdubs needs a hug, Crying, Doc gives that hug, Hanahaki Disease, Hurt/Comfort, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, IM IN PAIN, M/M, One-Sided Attraction, Pining, Vomiting, light fluff, or at least Bdubs thinks that, unedited
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-08
Updated: 2020-07-08
Packaged: 2021-03-05 01:47:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,236
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25146445
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RedXD/pseuds/RedXD
Summary: Bdubs likes Doc. But he doesn't like the fact that whenever he thinks about him, he coughs up blood and thorns.
Relationships: BdoubleO100/Docm77, Doc/BDubs, Docm77 & Bdoubleo100, Docm77/BdoubleO100, Steffen Mossner | Docm77/John | BdoubleO100
Comments: 10
Kudos: 171





	Thorns and Coughing

**Author's Note:**

> highkey dont like this but this au has been stuck on my mind for so long that this came from it
> 
> wrote this in parts and each time ive been exhausted so apologies if its shit

Bdubs noticed something odd for the first time during the End of Season party. People danced and enjoyed themselves. Tango did the tango and Impulse was impulsive. Bdubs sat to the side and watched with a smile.

But he remembers the second he watched Doc laugh at something across the party, his chest started to hurt. He suddenly had a small fit of coughing.

Cough after cough. He coughed a total of seven times in a row. He coughed into his elbow while Joe patted his back from beside him.

It wasn’t the coughing itself that started it all. Coughing happens to everyone on occasion. But what doesn’t happen to everyone is a stick being coughed up too. Once he finally stopped coughing, he remembers seeing a small twig on his shoulder.

From then on, he learned to live alongside twigs.

Season six ended with the beginning of something new. When season seven started, so did his growing pain.

He saw Doc constantly, not as his friend, but as his rival. The two would fight and then Bdubs or Doc would leave and the second he was alone, he felt thorns and sticks coming from his throat.

It started small, a single thorn or stick, then more, more, more. More and more. By the time he and Doc finally made up, he was coughing blood too. Sticky, gross blood. Concerning blood.

The first time he coughed blood was actually the day they made up.

Doc left, waving after they finished the goat head. His eyes were warm, relieved and happy. Bdubs even noticed a small smile gracing the taller male’s lips.

_Holy shit he is absolutely beautiful._

Then when Doc was gone, Bdubs started to cough and gag, the pile of dead bushes, sticks, and thorns coming from his mouth. Bright red blood clung to the edges of thorns and he felt warm blood in his throat.

_Shit the thorns cut my throat._

On the brightside, he found a healing potion and chugged it, the thick liquid traveling down his throat painfully.

Even despite that, he didn’t tell anyone. He did decide to finally try and find out what the sticks and thorns meant though. Progress.

He snuck into Xisuma’s house, looking for any books. He looked everywhere, trying to find some form of _something_.

Here he is, with a pile of books in his room, door covered by bookshelves as he tries to learn about what’s happening to him. His blanket is soft, covering his left leg and falling off the right one. His knees bounce up and down anxiously as he grasps the first of three (he couldn’t find many that looked to be about similar things) books.

Bdubs goes through the book, reading each page as best as he can when the words blur together the longer he stares at a paragraph. The first book gives him no answers. He tries again with the second book, but nothing.

Groaning, he runs a hand down his face, “Why does it feel like I’m the only freak stuck with this?” He whispers to no one but himself.

Angrily, he grabs the third book.

He flips to the first page and tries to focus on the page. He notices that it seems to be about different diseases.

_I mean… What I’m suffering from must be some sort of disease right?_

His stomach shakes with each page, covered in diagrams and gross illnesses. The book seems to be alphabetized, he gets through A with relative ease. B is a pain while C is concerning and confusing. D makes him gag, F has an amusing diagram on a page, and G is boring.

It’s not till he gets to H that he finds something interesting. The page catches his attention with something underneath the illness name. His eyes slowly scan the page.

_‘Hanahaki Disease?’_

In quotations underneath the title is the words ‘Also known as: The Flower Cough.’ He frowns.

_I’m coughing alright, but not flowers… I just cough sticks and thorns._

The page covers the mysterious illness he’s never heard of before ‘Hanahaki.’ He reads about the thing that causes it:

‘Unrequited love.’

Bdubs almost flips the page.

_Love? I don’t have any feelings for any-_

His train of thought stops abruptly as he reads the next section. The words carve into him, cutting at his weaknesses and making them stronger. Fear clings to him.

_‘The illness starts in the lungs and spreads through the throat and lungs. This causes bleeding and intense coughing. After enough time it may even begin to spread to exterior parts of the body such as eyes, lips, arms, and legs. Due to the flower-spread throughout the body not being a prepared invasion, the body reacts by trying to attack the flowers. The flowers attach as a part of the body which results in your cells attacking themselves. This self-destruction will continue until the sickly is dead.’_

He freezes, eyes widening. As if timed, he starts to gag, coughing up thorny dead bushes. He covers his mouth with his hands, the prickly mess falling from his mouth and spilling from his hands onto his lap. Blood drips from his mouth, covering his lips in the worst makeshift lipstick possible. He elbows the book to the side.

_There’s no way I have this right? I’m not in love-_

Bdubs stops reading the page when he hears his communicator go off.

**Docm77: Does anyone have any gravel I could trade for?**

**GoodTimesWithScar: Not really, pretty sure Bdubs went on a grind earlier tho**

**Docm77: Bdubs?**

Blinking, he realizes that Doc is waiting for _him_ to respond. He fumbles to grab his communicator, the dead bushes falling from his lap to the floor. His hands shake and he isn’t even sure why.

_Doc, I’m messaging Doc-_

_Why am I nervous? I’m never nervous._

His eyes dart to the book and he suddenly realizes his heart is racing. It thumps in his chest rapidly.

_Fuck._

_Maybe I do have Hanahaki._

His communicator goes off again. This time it’s a private message from Doc.

**Docm77: Hey Bdubs, do you have some gravel I could trade for? I ran out and I only need a little more to finish this.**

Bdubs gulps, hands shaking like crazy. His leg bounces up and down nervously. Raising a hand to his mouth, he bites nervously on the skin of his thumb while using his free hand to messily type back a response.

**BdoubleO100: I have some** **  
** **BdoubleO100: have any place I can drop it off at?**

The response is immediate.

**Docm77: You’re at your new village right? I can just stop by to grab it.**

His eyes widen and his heart goes even faster as if it’s running a race. Thump. Thump Thump. Thump. He swallows down his extreme realizations going on in his head and responds back quickly so that Doc knows to come over.

_If I really do like Doc as… If I have a crush on Doc. Then that means…_

He feels his heart stop.

_That means he doesn’t love me back. That’s why I’m sick. He doesn’t like me in that way._

_I wish I could’ve stuck with the other conclusion._

Sighing, his arms drop to his lap. He notices the blood smudged on his thumb.

_Wait Doc is coming here right?_

_  
_ _FUCK--_

_He can’t know. If he finds out then he might recognize what I have. I don’t want to hear him reject me._

Shaking his head, he jumps to his feet, walking to clean up the blood and thorns.

As he’s pouring water over his hands, he thinks about the things he’s figured out so far. A question still lingers in his head:

_The book said that people with Hanahaki cough up flowers. But I’m only coughing up dead bushes._

The mess of twigs and blood washes off into the now filthy bucket of water. He remembers seeing the book mention that the flowers the sickly cough up are usually their crush’s favorite kind of flower. It makes him wonder… Does Doc even _like_ flowers?

He supposes if Doc doesn’t like flowers then he’d end up with something… something not-flower as what he coughs up. But seriously? Dead bushes? He wonders if Doc is out of his mind or if the universe is simply out to get him…

His thoughts don’t get focused on much further as he hears a German accent from outside.

“Bdubs?”

Said male glances at his hands and body, making sure there’s no evidence. Then he flees outside. Doc stands there, dressed normally and is honestly not at all different to any other version of Doc. Yet Bdubs feels his heart rate spike and his hands start to sweat.

_Calm down it’s just Doc. Doc your buddy, friend, pal… crush. FUCK-_

Shaking his head, he walks forward, “Heya Doc!”

Doc turns around and nods in greeting, “Hey.” He runs a hand through his hair, “Anyways so what do you want for the gravel, it can’t be diamonds since I’m running low on those.”

Bdubs waves him off, walking towards the area he keeps his gravel. “No need, consider it a neighborly gift.”

The other’s eyes widen and he smiles softly, “Thanks then neighbor.”

They talk very little as Bdubs gives Doc the amount of gravel he needs. The two wave and just like that they’re parting ways. Just like that, Bdubs is alone again. And just like that, he’s already coughing up piles of woods.

He retreats to the back of the nearest building and rests against it, coughing up more and more. Twigs spill from his throat, messy thorns tangled alongside them. He feels more and more blood pour from his mouth.

His coughing fit becomes full on vomiting as he drops to his knees and grips the ground beneath him. He chokes, releasing piles of sticks and thorns drenched in blood. He feels as if his skin is burning and his lungs are tearing apart.

_If this is what it costs to be in love with Doc… then I wish it wasn’t worth it._

_He may not like me… It may be unrequited. But at least I can feel something for him that I’m glad I’ve realized is a part of me. I don’t think I want to get rid of these feelings. Not when they’re mine. Not when they’re about Doc._

There’s a way to get rid of his illness. He read so in the book. But it requires giving up something invaluable.

So that means there’s only one final ending for him.

Death.

And he’s okay with that.

The coughing stops and he finally can breathe. He gasps for air, heaving. After he has himself stable enough. He finally takes notice of how much he coughed up. And even worse… of the thorn-dense roses that have sprouted on his eye and mouth.

_So that’s why I can’t see as well._

He remembers the things he read earlier.

_Spreading externally… wait…_

_Oh shit._

…

From then on, he starts to wear a hoodie and face mask. He borrows the latter from Etho and finds an old unused hoodie in his closet that covers his face well enough. He also starts to ditch the headband, preferring to let his hair fall over his face. Whatever is needed to cover his eye and mouth.

Despite that, the hermits still grow suspicious.

Which is why he decides to simply isolate himself. He quits the Boomers and as Scar’s manager. He stops visiting friends and simply stays in his area, working or coughing.

It gets so bad, he spends hours of the day, if not the whole day, simply over a bucket. He spends his day-to-day life mostly coughing and curled in a ball. He feels numb, but also filled with anguish and pain. He knows he’s being stupid. He can get the pain to go away if he just gives up his feelings for Doc.

Yet he clings to them, not wanting to give them up. He wants to love Doc. Even if Doc will never feel the same.

Another fit comes and he rushes to the nearest bucket, gripping it tightly till his knuckles grow white. He vomits the mess of dead bushes and thorns and blood and roses.

He’s given up the hoodie and mask, isolation is easier without them. Plus now there’s roses covering his eyebrow and shoulder.

The coughing fit pauses, but he knows it’ll return soon enough. He curls into a ball, hugging his knees and laying on his side. Everything hurts, emotionally and physically. He feels like utter shit and in a weird way?

Bdubs almost feels like he deserves it.

It’s his fault for being dumb enough to fall for someone who is far out of his league. Sure he loves Doc, but Doc deserves someone better. Someone who doesn’t fall apart over a few coughed up sticks.

He hears a voice, a familiar one that he really wishes he couldn’t hear.

“Bdubs? Are you in there?”

_Why is Doc here?_

Feeling another group of thorns in his throat, his eyes dart between the staircase and his bucket. 

_I’ll have to hurry up with Doc._

He stands up, coughing as he swallows down the thorns. They cut against his throat and he feels a stinging pain throughout his throat. He grabs his hoodie and mask, covering all the flowers. He doesn’t have time to clean his hands, so he shoves them in his pockets and walks down the staircase. He uses his sleeves to cover his hand as he pulls the front door open.

Doc looms above him, looking concerned. It makes Bdubs nearly smile and cry at the same time.

_I’m sorry I’ve made you worry Doc. I’m even more sorry I’m happy you’re worried._

The taller male frowns, “Bdubs, what is going on? First you suddenly start dressing all different and then you completely shove us all out of your life?! None of us have spoken to you in days! You haven’t even answered your communicator!”

Bdubs opens his mouth to respond and immediately regrets it as he feels the dead bushes pushing through his throat. He tries to swallow them down again, but before he can he feels them in his mouth, trying every way of escape.

He slams the door shut and runs upstairs. He shoves the mask off and kneels in front of the bucket, letting the group of miserable thorny sticks slip from his mouth. He feels tears build up in his eyes.

_I’m such an asshole, I didn’t even answer him! He’s concerned and I just slammed the door in his face. I mean it was either that or he find-_

Doc’s voice rings out from behind him, “...Bdubs?”

_Fuck._

Whipping his head towards Doc, he sees him standing at the top of the staircase, looking directly at him. His body doesn’t give him a chance to respond as more mounds of pain press against the top of his throat.

Bdubs feels Doc’s eyes staring into him as he gags and coughs. He spits out the last of it and crumbles onto the floor, too weak to even speak to Doc.

Apparently he doesn’t need to.

The taller male leaps forward and grasps Bdubs, pulling him onto his lap.

“You’re sick… with Hanahaki?”

_I guess he’s already aware of it._

_...Yay._

Nodding slowly, he struggles to breathe, tears building up faster and faster in his eyes. They overflow, rushing down his cheeks. He gasps, turning onto his stomach and hugging himself.

Doc’s eyes shine with vivid concern and pain. He grabs Bdubs and pulls him to his chest, embracing him tightly.

Bdubs whines as the hug merely makes him feel more thorns in his throat.

The other lets go, shuffling back. He purses his lips in confusion, “Bdubs… who is it? The person causing this?”

_You._

Unresponsive, he pulls the hood over his face, covering the roses on his face self-consciously. He mutters out, “It’s not his fault.”

This causes Doc to only grow more confused. He sighs, “Then who is it? Who’s at fault and who do you have feelings for? _Please_.”

There’s a strong plea in the word please he’s never heard from Doc before. It’s as if Doc is begging for it. Like he’ll do anything for Bdubs to respond.

So he begrudgingly opens his mouth and starts to say what Doc wants to hear, “It’s y-” He shoves a hand over his mouth.

_Fuck fuck no stupid bdubs you almost told him!_

Doc moves forward a bit, “Cmon, Bdubs.”

It finally breaks him.

Bdubs shoves off his hood and jumps to his feet, he’s wombly and his balance is definitely about to go to shit any moment, but he powers through. He glares at Doc.

“YOU!” He shouts, feeling worse and worse as thorns and tears build up. His lip quivers:

“It’s you. I love you and it’s my stupid fault that now I’m all messed up and ugly.”

Doc’s eyes are wide as he gapes at Bdubs.

Said male squawks as his balance breaks and he falls forward, collapsing atop Doc. The taller male groans, rubbing his head. Bdubs grunts, moving to sit up, but simply collapsing again as the pain returns.

“I don’t think you’re ugly.”

He feels his heart race when he hears Doc’s words. But it’s quickly replaced with more pain as he scrambles to get off Doc and go back to the bucket, but before he can, Doc grabs his wrist.

The other pulls Bdubs into another hug and whispers, “Bdubs I love you more than you could possibly realize and I’m so sorry that I’ve caused you all this pain.”

_He loves me… too?_

The pain becomes numb, the flowers and thorns all shrinking to a dry and flaky powder. He gapes at his hands, feeling better than he has in weeks all because of Doc. He glances up nervously at Doc.

“You actually… love me?”

Doc nods, rubbing his thumb over Bdubs’s face. “Definitely. I mean, you’re absolutely beautiful.”

Feeling heat flood his face, his eyes widen and he leans his head on Doc’s shoulder. He whispers, “I can’t believe someone so intelligent like you is in love with someone so stupid like me.”

“Excuse me? That is fucking nonsense.” He flicks Bdubs’s forehead and then kisses it. “You’re extremely smart in your own way.”

Bdubs shrugs, “Apparently not smart enough to just tell you.”

The hybrid hums, stroking his head, “You were suffering Bdubs. Don’t ridicule yourself for that. I still can’t believe none of us realized what you were going through.”

He sighs sadly, staring at Bdubs.

“Next time that something is bothering you or you’re on your _fucking death bed_ , please tell us. Tell _me_.”

Biting his lip, he nods, “Okay…” He pauses, “Can you hand me my bandana, it’s over there.” He motions to the red fabric across the room. Doc laughs.

“No way. You look adorable with messy hair.”

Bdubs coughs violently, “What- Why-”

Doc grins, “I’ll give you your bandana if you promise you’ll start talking to everyone again.”

He huffs, eyes flickering to the side. “Okay okay. Now please? It’s easier to see you when I have my hair out of my face.”

The two don’t speak of earlier until a week later when they tell the rest of the hermits.

They both burned every dead bush from then on.


End file.
